If I could touch you,
If I could see you now,
If I could fight my way out of this silence
And hear your voice somehow,
If I could hold you,
If I could only make you real,
If I could shed myself of the darkness,
That is all that I can feel,
Then maybe I could find a way to go on through the night,
Hold the years, dry the tears, make it to the light,
How could you have left us, in the blinking of an eye?
You didn’t know, we didn’t know, no time to say goodbye.
I try to hear you,
I close my eyes and see,
Everything you did, everything you loved,
All you meant to me.
If I could touch you ,
If you could be with me here,
That’s all that I would need forever
If you could just be here.
(This is a poem I wrote shortly after the death of my 15 year old son)