As the mist filled the valleys below the endless ridges of Western North Carolina’s majestic Smoky Mountains, John Marsh and his nephew, who was called Little Crow by the white boys, got in the old red pickup truck to find the fox hounds they had hunted with the night before.
They rolled the windows down and shouted out the name of their prize dog, Jasper.
Soon, they would hear his distinctive voice carrying over the ridges.
U s di Go ga, John said turning to his nephew, “I think I hear him down that path.”
Little Crow, ( U s di Go Ga in Cherokee) ran up to Jasper. My uncle, he cried, Jasper has found a human skull!”
boomiebol said,
August 23, 2012 @ 12:54 am
Oooh very nice
beebeesworld said,
August 23, 2012 @ 2:02 am
Thanks, boomie, my evil mind at work again!
boomiebol said,
August 23, 2012 @ 1:36 pm
MIne is here http://boomiebol.wordpress.com/2012/08/23/the-cult-friday-fictioneers-824/
newpillowbook said,
August 23, 2012 @ 1:30 am
Well told! The ending took me completely by surprise – you did such a good job of setting up the peaceful ordinariness of the day, and then came the switch!
beebeesworld said,
August 23, 2012 @ 2:07 am
Thank you, I like to blend the ordinary with paranormal-it just fits me somehow!beebee
rochellewisoff said,
August 23, 2012 @ 2:25 am
Cheers to us early birds. Interesting tale. I wonder who the skull belonged to.
http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2012/08/22/escape/
· Der Silbenschmied said,
August 23, 2012 @ 9:44 am
My first idea when I read it, was to continue the story. I’ll do so in my mind. Bloodsoaking, terrifying and mystic…this day will become a good day! Thank you
beebeesworld said,
August 25, 2012 @ 12:40 am
I have had quite a few request to continue-Im trying to open my mind to ideas that will do the original thought justice!
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· Der Silbenschmied said,
August 25, 2012 @ 11:34 am
Hello Brenda! I hope it is not to keen when I ask you for an eMail-adress? So I can write a bit about what you have asked me, remember? I think these commentfields are not the right place. Write to silbenschmiede@t-online.de so you don’t have to offer yours to the world!
Frank
readinpleasure said,
August 23, 2012 @ 1:09 pm
Nicely written. Mine would be out later
Sandra Bennett said,
August 23, 2012 @ 1:38 pm
Hmmm…reminds me of my Cherokee roots…
beebeesworld said,
August 25, 2012 @ 12:31 am
i keep lookin for some–wonder if that is where my garlands got lost-haywood vo in in that area….beebec
billgncs said,
August 24, 2012 @ 12:49 am
not so happy an ending, but this could be the beginning of a who-done-it.
beebeesworld said,
August 25, 2012 @ 12:16 am
Im thinking about a second part-it just hasnt hit me yet-thanks for reading beebee
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Nicole said,
August 24, 2012 @ 4:29 am
I really enjoyed reading this. Great passage.
Sandra said,
August 24, 2012 @ 7:09 am
I hope he’s not bringing that into the house! Nicely done.
Linda said,
August 24, 2012 @ 7:54 am
I certainly wasn’t expecting that ending, now I want to know what happened next … are you going to continue it? Really well written and very enjoyable.
Here’s mine too: http://womanontheedgeofreality.com/2012/08/24/friday-fictioneers-misty/
beebeesworld said,
August 25, 2012 @ 12:02 am
I read your entry-nice work! I may write some more on this one, but I have to think on it and make it good! beebee
Linda said,
August 26, 2012 @ 2:18 pm
Well I’d definitely be interested in reading it if you did.
thecontradictoryoptimist said,
August 24, 2012 @ 8:35 am
Scary…. Nicely done!
beebeesworld said,
August 24, 2012 @ 11:51 pm
Thank you for reading and commenting!beebee
Douglas MacIlroy said,
August 24, 2012 @ 10:58 am
Dear Beebee,
This was one of my favorite pieces so far. I, too, though of the Piedmont of North Carolina when I saw Maggie’s beautiful picture. You really did it justice.
I was pulled into Jasper’s world and haunted by the use of the words of the former occupants of that land, the Cherokee. Very, very good use of two languages.
(In the second paragraph, should not the word ‘would’ be ‘could’?)
Aloha,
Doug
beebeesworld said,
August 24, 2012 @ 11:42 pm
I will check out the would/could-I appreciate constructive criticism-its how we learn. When you mentioned the Piedmont area, I admit, that I had to stretch my imagination to call this a photo of the Smoky Mountains. The mountains here are much more dramatic than those in the prompt (or in the peidmont, for that matter)-but the islands of mountain tops emerging from the clouds are one of my first childhood memories. My dad loved to go on rides…beebeesworld
beebeesworld said,
August 24, 2012 @ 11:48 pm
Doug, I really think that “could” is what I meant. It was an anticipation of an even they knew would happen. I spend my childhood going with my uncle to call in his fox hounds from the hunt of the previous night. We were anticipating hearing that distinctive voice of “our” dogs. We knew them, recognized them. have you ever read the book entitled, “The Voice of Bugle Anne”? Its a childhood favorite-it might explain the relationship of a hunter and his beloved dogs a bit better than I can. Thanks for reading and commenting. beebee
Rachel Paterson said,
August 25, 2012 @ 9:59 pm
“Soon, they would heard” – I think you’re right, could is what you meant, as the ‘soon’ indicates that they are anticipating him. Maybe it’s the past tense ‘heard’ that catches a little? Perhaps: “soon, they would hear” or “soon, they would have heard’?
Any way, I enjoyed this story – strong images that put me right there, and an unexpected direction. Thanks!
· Der Silbenschmied said,
August 25, 2012 @ 10:48 pm
I’m very sorry…but I’m a bit confused about this “would or could”-thing. I am from germany and I would like to learn much more about your grammatic. So could it be that they are dogs and they would always hear…if they could. And why shouldn’t they hear the call? Maybe this is absolutely silly…excuse me, but tell me what I don’t understand. I will be glad to hear from you Brenda, Rachel, Doug or someone else.
Frank
beebeesworld said,
August 25, 2012 @ 11:12 pm
Frank-I sent you my email-I love the would/could controversy. It turns out I put in the word “heard” instead of “hear”. That was my error! What I mean was that soon they KNEW that they would hear the dogs voice, because that is how they always tracked down the dogs. I went on the trips to find the fox hounds many times as a child. I was not allowed to go on the actual “hunts”, because I was a girl. They didn’t kill the fox, it was the thrill of hearing the “voices” of the dogs as they tracked down the foxes. In fact, my uncle trapped the foxes, vaccinated them for rabies, fed them meat at certain locations and such to keep them around. That’s the southern USA for you! beebee
beebeesworld said,
August 25, 2012 @ 11:14 pm
I forgot to push the “send me replies” button, you you will have to reply thru the comments on the article Jaspers Call-sorry beebee
beebeesworld said,
August 25, 2012 @ 11:15 pm
what does der silbenschmiede mean?
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· Der Silbenschmied said,
August 25, 2012 @ 11:30 pm
A “Silbe” is a syllable. And “Schmiede (Die Schmiede)” is the smithery or blacksmith. So it could be translated as syllablesmithery (?) and I am the smith of syllables. Forging Words, forging verses.
beebeesworld said,
August 25, 2012 @ 11:41 pm
I like the wordsmithing you did to come up with that name-I guess mountain girl is much the same for me-even If I used an old pic as my gravitar….beebee is my “grandma name”
JKBradley said,
August 24, 2012 @ 12:45 pm
And now the story of the mysterious skull is ready to be exhumed. Please continue.
beebeesworld said,
August 24, 2012 @ 11:34 pm
Im thinkin about it-stay tuned!beebee
vbholmes said,
August 24, 2012 @ 11:00 pm
Wonderful description of early morning in the Smokey Mountains (even if it did end up a little on the gruesome side).
beebeesworld said,
August 24, 2012 @ 11:30 pm
thanks, I kind of enjoy taking the beautiful places of my memory and adding a bit of paranormal…beebeesworld
shakira said,
August 25, 2012 @ 1:23 am
I just love stories like yours. So intriguing and suspenseful. You truly put a lot of work in describing the characters involved and the ending..B. R. A. V. O! Best I have read so far!Mine is here
Blessed be.
hugs
shakira
shakira said,
August 25, 2012 @ 3:35 am
Thank you so much for following me. I am now following you! hugs shakira