I felt the sweat pouring down my neck as I waited in line. The baby was getting fussy. “Acaba de celebrar en unos minutos.” I whispered to her, as she squirmed in her tiny undershirt and diaper.
My mother and brother were waiting for us in Yuma, just a few miles up the road. Two weeks, I had traveled, walked, dared to hitch a ride with a truck driver, all to get back to the place I had been born. I had just wanted to see my grandmother one more time before she died.
The door of the bus open, cool air rushed on us. I was going home!
billgncs said,
October 18, 2012 @ 7:30 pm
a good story…. reminds me of the movie “El Norte” that I saw so long ago.
beebeesworld said,
October 18, 2012 @ 7:31 pm
thanks for reading asnd commenting!
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boomiebol said,
October 18, 2012 @ 8:11 pm
Ha very nice
beebeesworld said,
October 20, 2012 @ 2:10 am
thanks, boomie
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brudberg said,
October 18, 2012 @ 8:22 pm
Love the subtle story behind the lines. Almost a life-story super condensed.
janet said,
October 18, 2012 @ 8:30 pm
BeeBee, what a pleasurable story about real people and their lives and loves!
beebeesworld said,
October 20, 2012 @ 2:08 am
thanks!
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Sandra Bennett said,
October 18, 2012 @ 8:51 pm
Great little window on others’ lives…Very enjoyable and easy to envision !
beebeesworld said,
October 20, 2012 @ 2:08 am
thanks, San
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Swirling Turnip said,
October 18, 2012 @ 11:37 pm
Nicely done. I’m so glad she got a break from the heat so grandma could see her and the baby. A nice aw.w.w moment.
bridgesareforburning said,
October 19, 2012 @ 12:08 am
Hi BB,
An excellent journey, a complete story, backstory, present and future. There are some similarities with my story. Well done! Ron
beebeesworld said,
October 20, 2012 @ 1:50 am
Thanks for reading and commenting. I will follow your blog and invite you to follow mine as well.beebeesworld
Cindy Marsch said,
October 19, 2012 @ 2:20 am
Beautiful capture of all the details I can just relive with your character–especially the little baby things and the rush of cold air from the bus! Great job.
My silly thing is here: http://wrasselings.blogspot.com/2012/10/friday-fictioneers-day-trip.html
beebeesworld said,
October 20, 2012 @ 1:42 am
I read and enjoyed your prompt as well. Thanks for the link-up, beebee
Sandra said,
October 19, 2012 @ 8:21 am
There was a good sense of arriving at the last leg of a long journey here. Nicely done.
beebeesworld said,
October 20, 2012 @ 1:33 am
thanks, Sandra
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rochellewisoff said,
October 19, 2012 @ 8:53 am
A lot of feeling in a few words. Good job.
rochellewisoff said,
October 19, 2012 @ 8:53 am
O mejor decir buen trabajo.
beebeesworld said,
October 20, 2012 @ 1:32 am
thank you! beebee
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Lora said,
October 20, 2012 @ 1:17 am
I wish her luck. It’s always difficult traveling with an infant. Hope she makes it home in time to see her grandmother.
rich said,
October 20, 2012 @ 2:25 am
a lovely family thought as thanksgiving approaches. i wonder if it could be a little more powerful without the exclamation point at the end. i say that because it’s not a great, happy, exciting reason they’re going home. grandmother is barely hanging on. might be better if it were more somber. just my opinion of course. not my story.
writeondude said,
October 20, 2012 @ 9:11 am
Very good. I could feel that cool air flowing out of the bus when the door opened.
dmmacilroy said,
October 22, 2012 @ 11:06 am
Going home against Sinclair Lewis’ advice? Good for her. A great little story and as I often do, i agree with Rich.
Aloha,
Doug
beebeesworld said,
October 24, 2012 @ 1:48 am
thanks for reading and commenting beebee
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