Beneath the surface

Eight year old Tommy stuck his hand beneath the surface of the muck in the shallow pond. He ran the cool, squishy mud between his chubby fingers, delighted with its consistency, smoothness, even the lovely (for an eight year old) color of dirt.

Suddenly, he felt something hard amidst his hand full of mud. He clenched his fist tightly and brought the mud to the surface. Running his hand through the mud, sifting out the dirt, his eyes opened wide.

“This looks like the molar my brother Joe lost last week.” He thought.

According to an old paper tucked in Uncle dale’s dresser, it wasn’t Joe’s. Or where the rest of the body was.

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6 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Interesting ! Makes me want to know the rest…Will you write it ?
    Cheers,
    Antoine

  2. 2

    I used to love mud puddles when I was young. I was always afraid of volcanoes coming up through them, but I would have been more traumatized to find body parts.

  3. 3

    Sandra Bennett said,

    This mystery needs solving…I am anxious to know the rest !!

  4. 4

    This could be a opener to a horror story or a thriller.
    I once was very, very proud to own a big fat comic book full of ghost and horror stories. The title was „Tales from the Crypt“ I think my mother has ripped it into pieces and stomped it to dust, because it was gone one day.
    You’ve got what it takes to write thrilling and romantic stories as well. I would like to thank you for all your ideas. What you write is so different from mine – I like it very much!

  5. 5

    Ross Mannell said,

    :) A very tactile description of a young boy’s experience with squishy muck leading to a mystery. This most definitely could be the beginning of a murder mystery or thriller.

  6. 6

    simon7banks said,

    I very much liked the shock turn – completely unexpected, and you’re lulled before being shocked.


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