Hard Times in Blackberry Winter

07500012In the Southern Appalachians , we almost always have a cold spell in mid-May. We have all sorts of what we call “winters” after the real winter has passed. The two that are most talked about are “dogwood Winter” in April, when the dogwood trees are in bloom and “Blackberry Winter” in Mid to late May when blackberries are blooming.

My hard times have very little to do with the cold spell right now. My father, who is 87 is having serious health problems and I am his primary health care. I am not well my self, with back and hip issues, scoliosis and the remains of what Cushings Disease did to me when my body and soul could not bear the sudden loss of my 15-year-old son several years ago. I am exhausted. I often come home from my morning trip to dads and just collapse into sleep. The same thing happens after my mid-day visit and picking up my grandchild and son from bus stops. One day last week,I was so deeply asleep that my dad gave up on me and went to bed without supper.

He doesn’t eat much and says he wasn’t hungry or at least more tires than hungry, but I felt like crap. I did go, and he was still awake , but in bed. I won’t go into the issues that I have to go through to help him, but they are not peasant for either of us In the morning, I have to rush over after bus stop time just to help him out of bed.

He has spent most of his life dealing with the pain of a misdiagnosed “inverted appendix rupture’ when I was a kid, almost dying a year later when benign tumors had invaded his intestines and attached to his back area. I guess he is proof that pain won’t kill you because he has not slowed down until the past few years after the death of my mom.

I believe I have written his life story in an article called “In Praise of Fathers” or something similar, so I won’t repeat it, please look it up if you’d like, it was written may 2 years ago around Fathers Day.

I have managed to work in my flowers a little. I have had to give up my big garden because of my own health. Until my father’s health worsened a few weeks ago, I was spending the tie I wasn’t on my feet in bed because my back and hip pain aren’t as bad then.

The reason I am writing this blog is to beg the patience of my loyal readers, read some of my old articles, there are a lot that I think are worth a re-read, and think of me and my dad as I try to get him to a place of better health.

Meanwhile, I will watch (while laughing) as the turkeys fight for dominance over our neighborhood, look out for bears, listen to stories about the bob cats neighbors and even my son have seen and try to get some rest. Best wishes to all my wordpress friends. I will be writing as often as I can.

 

11 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    aliciafl said,

    Thanks for sharing your life with us Brenda. I have read your article about your faff and he skins like a wonderful man. Look after yourself or you won’t be able to help your dad x

  2. 2

    Lucid Gypsy said,

    Take care Beebee.

  3. 3

    Judy said,

    Sorry for what you are going through, Brenda. It isn’t easy caring for your elderly dad with what you are dealing with. Thinking of you.

  4. 4

    That is a lot to deal with at once. I hope you can find rest and energy and get feeling better soon.

  5. 5

    I know what you mean about the aging process and doing all you can for those you love it is now my turn. I will work smartly and seek help when it is beyond what I can physically do and you should too they have care trained to help us when needed. Enjoy your flowers and rest.

  6. 6

    sachemspeaks said,

    Beebee
    I have over a thousand followers and only about 35 that ever click like on anything that I write, I am spending hours enjoying writing and answering comments and questions so, after around 50 or so of my posting with not one like, I am trying to weed out all of the people that only follow and do not like a thing that I write?
    After all, if someone does not like what I am writing, why are they following?

    • 7

      beebeesworld said,

      I have wondered the same thing. I will admit that I “like” some blogs that I don’t read all the way through, but yours are different. They offer an insight into the world of Native Americans, culture, poetry, stories and such that I just love. I promise, I really do read your blog.
      As for those who sign on and never take a look, I am not sure what their purpose is-perhaps hoping for readers? I Like the idea of SHARING thoughts and making friends though blogging. I agree with your question, if you aren’t a reader, why “follow”. Thanks for your great column! beebeesworld

  7. 8

    simon7banks said,

    I care for my 89-year-old mother and I can easily relate to this. She gets her own meals, but I drive her to almost anything outside the house and garden and her body lets down her still active brain.

    I’m not exhausted like you, but at times I feel a lot of stress.

  8. 9

    beebeesworld said,

    My dad is in the hospital. He will have to go to rehab. I am disabled myself and it is difficult to feel that your loved one wants you there when you just have to rest a while. If I break down too, who will be there? My kids are good to help, bu there are certain things he depends on me to do. Ity is nice to know that others are coping with this situation and making the best of the time we have. beebeesworld

  9. 10

    SwittersB said,

    Loves BeeBee…beautiful flowers and heart! Prayers for you and Dad through these difficult times when dignity dwindles and fatigue takes over. Bless you!

    Gary

    • 11

      beebeesworld said,

      Thanks for reading and commenting. My dad is still real sick-in a short rehab-which is a joke to me-I guess he will end up at m house-we don’t know prognosis yet,


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