If I Could Touch You


If I could touch you,
If I could see you now,
If I could fight my way out of this silence
And hear your voice somehow,
If I could hold you,
If I could only make you real,
If I could shed myself of the darkness,
That is all that I can feel,
Then maybe I could find a way to go on through the night,
Hold the years, dry the tears, make it to the light,
How could you have left us, in the blinking of an eye?
You didn’t know, we didn’t know, no time to say goodbye.
I try to hear you,
I close my eyes and see,
Everything you did, everything you loved,
All you meant to me.
If I could touch you ,
If you could be with me here,
That’s all that I would need forever
If you could just be here.


(This is a poem I wrote shortly after the death of my 15 year old son)


24 Responses so far »

  1. 3

    All your posts appear to be from Tim just go to your wordpress page hover over your name and 20 Lines…… will be in drop down click on that then New Post in another menu and write. Then Post.
    my email is Eunice356@gmail.if you need help 🙂

  2. 4

    Sandra Bennett said,

    Remembering Andy today and always…

    • 5

      beebeesworld said,

      Thanks, Sandra, Holidays are so filled with memories-we used to go to my aunts (next door to my parents) on the 4th for ice cream, brownies, watermelon, so many fond memories with Andy, mom, my aunts husband, my grandparents…

  3. 6

    This so touching, I am really sorry for your loss. But i feel that if he would have been there he would have been very proud of your good work.

    • 7

      beebeesworld said,

      Thank you for reading so many of my blog writings and your kind words. It means a lot to know that there are those out there who can fell compassion, even for those they do not personally know.

  4. 8

    SomerEmpress said,

    This is beautiful, moving, albeit on a somber note. Wishful, and still inspirational. Loss is something so heavy, so thick, and feels so present although years have gone by. Something gets moved around some how. Courageous. Thank you. I am sending a prayer and blessing to your corner of the Universe.

  5. 9

    nyparrot said,

    I am SO sorry for your loss!! I know, you son can hear and read this heartfelt poem from above, and he will always be connected to you. I had the out-of-body experience many years ago when I was hit by a car (I was lucky and got well completely). I’ve seen everything from above (in black and white) – how the Ambulance came, and the pose I was laying in, people surrounding me… I didn’t feel anything – no pain… Some people don’t believe in afterlife, and it’s not very important to me for them to believe my story. What’s important – I KNOW it, I’ve experienced it. I have not seen a beam of light (at least I don’t remember anything like that), but to everybody’s surprise I was able to describe exactly the scene, even thought I could not know, cause I was absolutely unconscious after been hit…

    • 10

      beebeesworld said,

      I do believe you-our souls are much more than our bodies can hold. I believe my son is with me sometimes-I wait anxiously for a “meeting” with those I have lost-through dreams, visions, whatever. thank you for reading and commenting…

  6. 12

    Robyn Lee said,

    The energy your poem emits is no doubt powerful. I know your son is reading along with us, and ever so proud of his mom… Big Hugs…

  7. 13

    coville123 said,

    So sorry for your loss I to believe your son is always near you.

  8. 15

    I am so sorry. I can feel the love pouring out in this poem. It is a wonderful tribute to your son. We can never understand why things happen. I know it doesn’t make it any easier to accept things. You are a very strong woman. I hope that writing about him gives you some solace. I appreciate you for sharing it. I read the poem you mentioned to me about his tooth. It’s a beautiful poem. You know my birthday is October 4th. I will remember your son on this day, too.

    • 16

      beebeesworld said,

      Thank you for your note. I am reblogging my article about Parent Heart Watch thru “Write on Edge” today..if you haven’t read it, it will be on there, and on my regular blog. Im sorry that you will be thinking of someone elses pain on your b-Day-SO KIND OF YOU TO DO IT. BEST WISHES, BEEBEE

  9. 18

    russtowne said,

    A touching tribute to your love for your son!

  10. 19

    tersiaburger said,

    A beautiful tribute honouring your son and your love for him. Hugs!

    • 20

      beebeesworld said,

      Thank you for your kind words. My “life” changed forever on that day- an ordinary day-with no symptoms, my 15 year old son collapsed on a baseball field. negligence killed him-there was a fire station within sight of the field-who ever called 911 must have hung up without telling them exactly what was happening-a nurse did nothing-after finding out that my son, like so may others i have heard of since died of a virus that got in his heart, and the STRESS of sports killed him, I learned of an organization called Parent heart Watch. They try to teach people how to recognize the symptoms of hearth failure and what to do-whether it is a child or an elderly person. I have several articles on this organization. Read the, feel free to re-post the articles. No young persons life should be stolen like this. it took his life, ruined my health, faith , hurt so many people. The more people who spread the word of Parent Heart Watch, the fewer families will endure this useless pain. Thanks! beebeesworld

  11. 21

    Judy said,

    Every time you write about your son’s death, it’s as if you are reliving it. What a horror to carry with you every moment of your day. How I wish it could have been different! Grief ruins so many lives and it happens in an instant. For me, I realize that every second with those I love is a blessing. No one is immune from loss and grief. Brenda, you write beautifully and have a gift for expressing your heartache. Keep writing and sharing how you feel.

    • 22

      beebeesworld said,

      Every time I write about it, I do relive it, but sometimes it helps to clear my head and not feel like dying for a few days…Im sure you understand….it is a hurt that will not leave, a wrong that cannot be made right. Andys death changed everything-i have never had an easy life -all i asked for was my kids and health to do things for others-but my Andy was taken and it cost me my health-thanks for caring brenda

      • 23

        Judy said,

        Oh, Brenda – you lost part of your soul. Of course, I understand. I didn’t write about my son’s death until 18 years later and the memory was crystal clear. Every detail stabbed my heart as if it had just happened. Losing your health because of grief is common; I’ve seen it happen to many people. You’ve lost so much and I wish you peace. Being ill is another burden and someday I hope you will have your health back. It can happen – never give up hope!

      • 24

        beebeesworld said,

        I will not have my son or my health back -they are intricately tired together. Thanks for the kind words beebee

Comment RSS · TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: