Adobe Dreams

When she drove around the last curve, the old adobe ruins came into view.  “Funny,” she thought, “how my life had changed so dramatically, and yet this place seemed just the same.” She sat, cross-legged, near the doorway of the ancient structure and looked out across the desert to the ragged peaks that lined the horizon under the full moon. Maybe, if she closed her eyes, closed out the sounds of night creatures and cars on the expressway, she could imagine the smoke dancing up from the campfire, hear the strumming of his guitar. The wind was colder now, she thought, the mountains, somehow seemed further away.  She wiped a tear as it glided down her weathered cheek. The ruins of her life hadn’t stood the test of time like this special, haunting place.

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38 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    boomiebol said,

    You have to join us for Friday Fictioneers, you write so well :). What say you? Madion Woods is the hostees

    • 2

      beebeesworld said,

      I am on her site-i had an blog on her site last week-i cant seem to get it to post-is it because it isnt Friday yet? I put Friday Fictioneers as on of my tags. Thanks, Boomiebol

      • 3

        boomiebol said,

        Oh great. Include the photo prompt and a small intro to your story…then tomorrow go to Madison’s site and there will be a link to where you can add your site page with this story. I will post mine soon, so if you comment make sure you add the site for the post and thatway when other participants read mine they can check yours out. Also when you post your link on Madison’s site tomorrow, check out other readers comment on their work and don’t forget to leave your post site so they can read and comment :). Hope i made sense with this

      • 4

        beebeesworld said,

        Im trying..another blogger told me to go to madisons page-click blog, scroll to the photo prompt and enter my whole url for the exact article-took me 3 times-i didnt get the whole url in-the the first “b” didnt get in the url blank-finally, I got it in correctly, pressed the link and it went to my entry-I will check tomorrow and see it if works. writing comes so naturs;;y to me-working the computer is like “no comprende”…thanks!

      • 5

        boomiebol said,

        You and me both in the computer aspect :). My pleasure

      • 7

        beebeesworld said,

        the way that was suggested using the blog menu and going down to friday fictioneers and putting in my entire url fir that particular blog. 0it is listed as brenda lewis- my name instead of beebeesworld,I will read yours from the url you left for me-thanks.

  2. 8

    Sandra Bennett said,

    I’d like to see you insert this into a novel you might write someday !!

  3. 10

    Carrie said,

    A lovely scene. You could feel the pain and heartache she was feeling. My only critique is the part with her “thought” I wonder if it should be ‘my life’ instead of ‘her life’

    Visiting from Friday fictioneers
    http://viewsfromnature.com/2012/07/05/friday-fictioneers-burn/

  4. 11

    I look forward to finding out what happens. As far as posting, I’ll be posting something for the first time tomorrow, hopefully without any snafus. Sometimes I think the machines are already in control and we just don’t know it. 🙂

  5. 12

    “The ruins of her life…” beautiful line, beautiful story.
    http://myownheart.me/2012/07/05/long-dirt-road-3/

  6. 13

    raina said,

    beautifully written, especially the end: “the ruins of her life hadnt stood the test of time…”

    http://writersclubkl.wordpress.com/2012/07/06/friday-fictioneers-lone-rubble/

  7. 14

    Kwadwo said,

    You used the state of the building as a metaphor for her life.
    That’s creative and deep. I like the story.

    http://logo-ligi.com/2012/07/06/healing/

  8. 15

    Very powerful writing. Every word counts and nothing wasted. No fluff here. I love the last line, especially.

  9. 16

    billgncs said,

    enjoyed the last line about “ruins of her life” linking the story and the picture.

  10. 18

    erinleary said,

    Nice story of longing and loss – I really enjoyed it.

    Mine is #15 on the Link List – here for others: http://erinleary.wordpress.com/2012/07/05/flash-friday-fiction-11/

  11. 19

    Kaitlin said,

    Yep. I liked the idea of the ruins of a life withstanding the test of time like the structure. Great job. http://kaitlinandmichaelbranch.com/2012/07/06/friday-fictioneers-10/

  12. 20

    dbfurches said,

    Thanks for this story. I like the symbolism!
    I thought “seemed” in the character’s thought should be “seems.”

  13. 21

    Linda said,

    What a beautiful opening scene for a longer story or even a novel. It would give you the perfect chance to do a reflective piece about what changed and why. I really enjoyed it, thanks.

    I’m on the list but for those who happen across, my offering is also here: http://womanontheedgeofreality.com/2012/07/06/reality-brought-forth/

  14. 22

    dmmacilroy said,

    You entire story was beautiful, but your last line was perfect. These lines are hard to craft and though simple, really tie the story up in a nice, neat bow for the reader. You captured time here. Not an easy thing to do.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/2012/07/06/nurture-or-nature/

  15. 23

    Jess Schira said,

    I really like how you used a strong descriptive voice to help make this an emotional piece. It’s a good piece of writing.

    • 24

      beebeesworld said,

      Jess, I clicked the link to follow you0hope you will do the same for me. I like your descriptive style as well-You seem to have one if those blog site connections that makes it difficult to follow-it more than just a click as it is on my wordpress site. Do you know why people sometimes set their accounts up like this? Is a privacy-virus concern? Thanks for reading.

  16. 25

    TheOthers1 said,

    Sad moment for her. Very deep story writing.

    My linky: http://unduecreativity.wordpress.com/2012/07/05/desert-warrior/

  17. 27

    So sad. I want to go give her a hug and tell her that her life isn’t a ruin and isn’t over yet. Tell me she gets over it, please?

  18. 28

    beebeesworld said,

    Thank you, Raina, for reading my blog, Adobe Dreams, and your kind comment!

  19. 29

    Very intense moment, and one of my favorites so far. 🙂

  20. 30

    Jan Brown said,

    The metaphor of this building, in ruins, for a life or relationship in ruins, has popped up in several stories today! I agree with Daniela, that this is one of my favorites. It really resonates with me. Will look forward to reading more of your blog!

  21. 32

    Brian Benoit said,

    Nice imagining of the side of the view we don’t see, the “ragged peaks” and the memories it brings back to her (which were really well drawn). Hope to see more of your stuff with the other Fictioneers next week!

    Brian (Here’s mine: http://pinionpost.com/2012/07/06/kyawe/)

  22. 33

    It was all very resonant but the line that really hit hard was, “the mountains, somehow seemed further away.” That is where her pain really came through for me.

  23. 34

    Nicely written. I like the last line the best. Lots of meaning packed into a few concise words. Great contrast, describing the place as special and haunting. Adds profound depth. Excellent work!

    http://ebooksscifi.wordpress.com/2012/07/06/seclusion-by-ilyan-kei-lavanway-for-madison-woods-friday-fictioneers-100-word-flash-fiction/

    • 35

      beebeesworld said,

      Thank you for reading my blog and for the compliment on my “adobe Dreams” entry. When I write from my heart, my words reflect what my minds sees. I read and enjoyed your blog as well and hope you will follow me-I will definitely foolow your blog and read more soon! beebee

  24. 36

    You drew some strong parallels between the passing of time and the weathered building. I liked your last line best, too 🙂

    • 37

      beebeesworld said,

      Thanks, Madison, I like to make people, thin…hmmm. and read my prose/story again…Im trying to keep up, rather over run with emails and comments as I try to gain readers…guess I will have to learn to manage a bit better.beebee

  25. 38

    russtowne said,

    I LOVE this one! Thank you for sharing it!
    Russ


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