Archive for October, 2012

The Old Carver Place

Everyone had heard of the “Old Carver Place”. Indeed, most everyone knew it was said to be haunted.
My friends and I had always wanted to go there and see why. Halloween seemed like the perfect night.
As if in a script, the wind howled and trees groaned as we headed up the old wagon road.

A light seemed to shine from the attic window revealing the shadow of a woman with a child in her arms.
The window creaked as she pushed it open and looked down at us. “Finally” she sighed. “Someone was kind enough to help us.”


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Halloween Hearts

I planted a seed and from it grew,
A giant, beautiful golden fruit.
I couldn’t bear to cut in apart,
Rather, I gently began to carve,
A ghostly tree, a moon gliding past.
A gravestone  with memories of the past.
A wisp of a cloud above the tall tree-
A witch on her broom-perhaps it is me!
We gather and smile, admiring our art,
Filling our nightmares and Halloween hearts.

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The Seasons of Life

As the inspiring colors of Appalachian autumn drift into etchings of cut-glass frost on winters windows, I am overtaken by a nostalgia deep in my soul. Here, I recall the days of  immense joy and unbearable sorrow that life has brought to me.

I think of the soft breath of my newborn child, the harsh emptiness of my mothers tombstone, the giggles of kids in Halloween costumes, a look of sheer delight upon the discovery of a hidden Easter egg, of how quickly time slips by, leaving us breathless.

And winter will bring another blank page, yet to be filled. Yesterday, today, tomorrow…life.

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Morning may come with clouds of deep gray.
Or might dawn with azure skies and fluffy clouds.
Dusk may find a sky awash with indescribable colors.
Or perhaps with sky is filled with the softness of gentle snow.
I rarely notice anymore, it doesn’t matter.
My heart, my soul is dead within me.
Without you it is just another time to endure,
Another tear to dry and try to push on.
For so many years, I have endured this hell,
That it is expected, I brace for it, harden my heart.
There isn’t even a word for one who has lost a child.
You aren’t a widow, orphan, divorcee.
No word can describe the emptiness, the pain.
You are simply, forever, alone.

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Going Home

I felt the sweat pouring down my neck as I waited in line.  The baby was getting fussy. “Acaba de celebrar en unos minutos.”  I whispered to her, as she squirmed in her tiny undershirt and diaper.
My mother and brother were waiting for us in Yuma, just a few miles up the road. Two weeks, I had traveled, walked, dared to hitch a ride with a truck driver, all to get back to the place I had been born.  I had just wanted to see my grandmother one more time before she died.

The door of the bus open, cool air rushed on us. I was going home!

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WordPress, Please Help me!

U have had a problem for months getting my wordpress articles published. I cannot get wordpress or anyone to help me.  In hopes that someone may read this and can tell me how to contact someone for help, I will explain my problem again.  I have tried to “support” sites and get only replies from other readers who, like me, had problems and could not get anyone to help them.

When I write an article (copy it from my word processor) , the “publish” button will be GREEN as it always was, but at sometime during my writing, adding a title or photo, or tags when I finish writing, the GREEN button turns gray and will not let me publish. Sometimes, the button will stay Green, but when I push it to publish . it gets caught up on the gray publishing button with the “CLOCK” GOING ROUND AND ROUND INDICATING THAT THE COMPUTER PROGRAM IS WORKING ON YOUR COMMAND TO PUBLISH, AND IT WILL NEVER STOP THE “circling” motion and indicate that the article is published.

For a while, I was able to go the extra step of going to the “reader” page, select “new post” and publish through that venue, although getting photos where I needed them and other issues were difficult. Now, After I push “publish” A RED message comes up at the top of the page that says “invalid request:

Several times, including today, I have tried five or more times to get an article published, I would leave out tags, for instance, because I would loose the green button when I put in tags, several times, it didn’t work, but finally, I could get the article published, go back and press “edit” and add tags and categories.

It has become so frustrating to wonder if I will be able to successfully get my work published, that I hesitate to try.  There must have been some glitch or problem that I am not aware of which has interfered with my ability to publish.

If anyone is willing to help me, especially someone from wordpress,com, please write me at my email site, and walk me through what I need to do to fix this problem.

I am not an expert with computers, so I need help in plain terms that U can understand.

Thank you for you help. beebeesworld

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The morning sun rose slowly from a horizon filled with red clouds. It seems she had waited forever for this day. The endless midnight struggles to remember the materials that she had studied for three long years at the university. She recalled the nights cuddling her little one, the evenings when there was no time to study because he needed her care. Today was the day-final exams. Would everything she had worked for become a the fulfillment of a dream or the beginning of another hopeless barrier. To think that a few professors stood between her and hope was excruciating.

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Autumn Ending

One day, I notice a crunch of leaves beneath my feet,
The fading final blooms of wild asters brushing my shoulders.
I spy the orb web of an araneus spider blowing in the wind.
The morning mist sends a chill down my cheek,
When only days ago, the mist had me whispering  a quiet, “Ahhh!”

The fields, once filled with clumps  of multicolored leaves and mushrooms
Are now  deeply covered in deep, crisp, and ruffled leaves of brown.
The tempting smoothness of buckeyes, sends young  children,
Out into the fields to gather them, smooth, round, tempting, into baskets.
I reach down and find one, memories, flooding in.

Though pines are not supposed to shed leaves, it seems that they do.
Perhaps not all at once, but I can gather them as mulch for my azaleas.
A silent flock of nameless birds flies overhead, southward bound.
Only their silhouettes against the creamy blue sky reveals their path.
I wonder where their flight will lead them, what they seek.

With a sudden gasp, the heat of summer  becomes early autumn
and then a chill sweeps the land, dries the leaves, calms the growing.
I wander among the fading leaves and fallen mast crops,
Thinking of the difficult days ahead, that first snow flake.
Soon, I will hunt for the first sprig of green. Time, life, leaves me breathless.

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Haunted Memories



haunt me, find me alone, shaking in the sun.

seeing you there in my door way, smiling

and never seeing you walk in that door again.

Six years, six lifetimes, six degrees of hell.

Wondering in the everyday lie and crap

are even worth it anymore-nothing is the same.

No one can ever give like you did, love like you did,

smile like you did. Leaves blow by, taking my soul,

to some unknown place. Are you there?

So tired of people making excuses for God,

He wasn’t here like He said He would be.

No excuse matters,it doesn’t change a thing.

Memories so painful, i can’t even think of it

without another piece of me dying-

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