Since I was only 19 years old, sitting in a frayed chair,
I have loved looking down upon a sweet head,
of soft,curly hair, stroking it, as it mixed with my own.
That was the incomparable joy of motherhood.
A sleepy head upon my shoulder, or laying beside me,
a soft, even breath when sleep finally came and I could rest.
I would lovingly touch their sleepers of pink or blue,
as I laid them beside me, watching them as they dreamed.
“It’s hard to be someone’s everything.” I told my friend.
A young mom too, she laughed and said, “But so sweet!”
In those difficult times, I though,how true it was,
To be wrapped in the joy of life’s greatest pleasure-motherhood.
Now, I am not young, and have spent nearly 40 years,
with a soft head of hair in many colors, and textures
laying beside me, or on my shoulder, they all loved being loved.
For me to rub their backs or heads as their eyes closed for the night.
We have been through so much, over the years-
the unimaginable joy of new life and the unspeakable sorrow
of the loss of a child, and still, running my hand through
each child’s hair has remained an unforgotten blessing.
Today, I walked into my teens room, music playing quietly,
and saw him lying there with her head on his shoulder,
His girl, not me, and I found it hard to hold back the tears
as I walked away knowing those days would soon end.
Yes, I would rub the heads of my many grandchildren,
such beautiful, soft hair, I touched and remembered.
But it wasn’t the same. I would lay them in their bed,
or take them to their home. Leaving me here, alone.
If only I could be young again, tired again, I thought.
Running my hand through silky hair, and knowing,
that this tiny act of love between us was so precious,
would one day be only a sweet memory, but not,
I hoped, today…..
beebeesworld 
Judy said,
November 12, 2014 @ 12:32 am
So sweet and so true. How swiftly those times went by and the memory of their softness remains upon our soul.
beebeesworld said,
November 12, 2014 @ 12:55 am
Thanks, Judy, you, like me, want nothing more than to see our kids grow up and thrive, but letting them grow up is so hard!
Judy said,
November 12, 2014 @ 2:14 am
That is so true. But what a blessing to see them grow up – I always wonder what my dead son would have done with his life if he had the chance to grow up. Thank God for those beautiful memories.
beebeesworld said,
November 18, 2014 @ 12:17 am
Judy, you and I share a common bond that neither of us deserves. I admire your abiliy to find joy in what time you had, I do, as well, but cannot leave behind the anger over the negligence that took my son. There are days when I almost envy that he does not have to bear this life. Thanks for your repies. Brenda
Sandra Bennett said,
November 12, 2014 @ 11:35 pm
You have caused me to think back on all of the little heads I have stroked, or still stroke, when I can catch one running by….
SusanB said,
November 14, 2014 @ 2:00 am
My babies in sleepers, warm terry after baths in the kitchen sink and their fragrant hair in my nose. Sigh. Lovely memories. Thank you.