Posts tagged graves

Fresh Flowers on the Grave

 

 

Image courtesy of Unsplash.

 

I walked up the hill as I so often did. My 15-year-old son rested there with a black obsidian stone that we had ordered from Africa standing guard. Many people had left mementos over the 7 ½ years since that night of hell when we lost him. There were tiny figurines, glass etchings, a link of chains with the number of people who were supposed to be in our family, notes, items from his favorite ball teams. Then, along with Christmas ornaments and coins, we kept a vase of artificial flowers.

Ironically, I often found black widow spiders on the flowers or near the stone. Since I study arachnids, it was like a special message from me-one that spoke of the anger we both felt from the loss of his life through mistakes and excuses. When I looked at other graves in the large cemetery, I found only one other place with a black widow spider-my mother’s grave.

As I walked up the hill on this early summer day, I noticed a new container of flowers sitting in front of the stone. They were light orange with delicate leaves dancing in the breeze. As I reached the grave, I realized that the flowers were fresh. It was unusual to find fresh flowers on a grave that was not a new grave because they do not last long in the heat and wind.

I knelt down to look at a small note attached to the vase that held the flowers. On the front , I could see a set of fading initials-it had rained the night before and I couldn’t read them. As I turned the little note over, I saw a delicate pink heart. I smiled. He never got the chance to experience true love, but after all these years, someone still loved him, thought of him. Without coming to a conclusion about who the flowers were from, I smiled, ran my fingers across his name as I always did and knelt down by the stone, whispering, “I love you.”

I was reminded of something my grandfather used to tell me. “As long as someone loves you, and remembers what you loved and dreamed, you will never be forgotten.” The scent of fresh flowers wafted in the air. For just a moment, I was with him and this time, we were not alone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The Black Swallowtail Mystery

 

I saw her struggling on a spiderweb on my son’s grave. Many times, I have seen Black Widow spiders there many times. Since I study spiders, I took it as a message, “I’m, here, Mom, I love you.” Now a butterfly was caught in a Black Widow’s web. I study Butterflies too. This must be a message,

Quickly, I released the Black Swallowtail butterfly from the web. I had to work to untangle the stiff web from her leg without hurting her. I wonder if she knew that I had saved her. I wonder what the Black Widow was trying to tell me, catching one of my favorite creatures for her “dinner”.

My heart, already damaged was beating hard. I was shaking. I had to kill the spider, I had no choice. What was going to happen? Was it good, at least for me, or bad-perhaps for someone else. I took a moment to recover. It isn’t easy to get up with a metal hip. I have to get into a position which is rather like a baby starting to crawl, find something to lean on-to help me rise up. My sons black obsidian grave stone.

“What’s wrong?” my son ask when I stumbled in the door, tears running down my cheek.

“I don’t know.” I mumbled. But something is.

All I can do now is wait for the Butterfly and black widow to reveal their message.

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Black Widow Spider

Black Widow Spider

As many of you know, I study spiders, insects, nature in general. I have written stories on spiders many times. Ironically, Black Widows “come to me” on my son’s grave and now, my mom’s grave as well. It has happened 4 times with my son and this is the first with my mom. I will look around and there will be no black widows on any of the other grave sites. Is it a message to me because they know that only I would recognize the Black Widows web and hunt for the spider? I will always “wait” to see if it is some sort of message from my loved ones. This one I found tonight hidden in my mom’s flower vase.

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