Posts tagged prose

Love Lost and Stolen

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Though I am not aware of any great love

 beaming down upon me, I hope they are there

My lost son, my mother , her parents,

They speak to me, hear me when no one else does.

 

I have searched, believed, dreamed, loved

and seen all of that stolen from me.

In misery, drowning in tears, I have lain,

thinking of you, longing for your touch.

 

Oh, Holy Spirit, one whom I should trust

I often wonder where you are, near, or far

Do you watch over me while I suffer?

Do you not interject yourself in earths troubles?

 

There was a time when the majesty of your works,

the beauty of the forest and flowers of spring,

carried me to a place of pure delight.

Now, all I do is wonder what I did to make you leave.

 

Nothing can bring back what was stolen from me.

I try to find comfort in the winds, the sea,

To find you again, but I cannot see beyond the clouds.

I reach up, longingly to find only emptiness.

 

All you must do is reach down as I reach up,

as you did once and suddenly withdrew.

I hear the winds power, the majestic clouds.

But i want you, and can never ever have you here again.

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As Fragile as Glass

Three years ago, I lost my mom.

She had been fading for years, but we still talked,

we laughed and loved.

It seems like since then loss and loneliness

have been so much of my life.

I feel like I am drowning.

After loosing my child, hope, faith,

and that special closeness with my family,

I feel I will never capture the joy in life again.

I can only beg you, young people,

to take that joy, when you find it,

and treat it as thought it was glass, because it is.

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Your Inner Soul

 Vintage Music Paper Butterflies

My love, It seems I have known you forever.

I smile as I imagine that I can read your thoughts.

Who else could pick that special jewelry,

Your favorite color or dessert,

The outfit you would pick from your closet,

to catch a second glances at an important party?

Would it be daffodils or autumn leaves,

Soaring mountains or the roar of waves,

that made your heart leap in joy?

There is but one thing I am desperate for,

My love, that you have kept secret.

So please give me, finally-man of my dreams,

a glimpse inside your inner soul.

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Now I Know….

DSCN2081After the darkness,

Blue skies surround me

Clouds drift on the horizon

Drifting away at last

Every day is different

Fresh and exciting.

Gladly, I look for

Hovering bees and bugs

Ice melted at last.

Just one warm day

Keeps me hoping

Long after cold returns

Moonlight sparkles

Night times stars

Overhead-your head and mine.

Perhaps I treasure nature

Questioning it’s rhythms

Reining in its surprises

Turning from chill to warmth

Until I come upon the first

Violet, a sure sign of spring.

Wonder if other over it as much

X-citined as I am

You may know-tell me

Zestfully smiling.

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A Breath of Fall

We wait at the school bus stop in the summer sun. The air conditioner is on high at 7:30 a.m. It just cannot be that summer is over. There is a dogwood tree that I watch, next to a wild aster. They are my calendar, my watching, waiting for fall to come.

One foggy day, the dogwoods leaves have a tinge of red, now the berries show their cardinal souls. The aster that has looked like an ugly weed all summer explodes into a wild white bush, excited, thankful bees all around. Relax, close your eyes, fall has come.

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Where There is Love

The sound of waves hitting the shore combined with a sharp wind. It was the perfect picture of life at the junction of the  water and sand. Two sea gulls sat together on the sand, One seemed injured, the other, taking short flights and diving at minnows in the shallows left by low tide.

I was witnessing the caring of natures partners. One gull rose on the wind and dove into the water, coming up with a wiggling minnow. She waddled to her partner and pushed the food into his mouth. He hobbled, then swallowed. She flew into the wind.

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I Close my Eyes

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The flight of life, all I am or hope to be. I close my eyes.

I am a child, turning as I look for signs of growing up,

then a teen, swirling in front of a mirror,

dreaming of college, midnights out, no curfew.

Suddenly, I awake to the sound of wedding music

and then a baby cries as I shake my head.

The laundry awaits, my feet hurt.

Life, where is it going, it used to seems so slow.

Now I’m bandaging skinned knees, paying mortgages.

I see my teen swirling in front of a mirror.

I find myself looking at the obituaries in the paper.

I notice a little gray in my husbands hair.

Graduations, weddings, then accidents, surgeries,

my back hurts when I garden all day, the house needs repair.

I cry at the tombstones of my parents,

suddenly becoming aware of my own age,

Life, speeding by at the speed of light.

Computers have replaced the written word.

I feel outdated, like I don’t belong here anymore.

Struggling to keep up, I feel the desperation of loosing my edge.

Yesterday, I was young, had hope, dreams, health.

I remember whirling in the wind beneath the moon,

Oceans waves crashing behind me, the bright lights of town

glowing distantly, calling to me, “Come, live, love!”

Now it is nighttime, winter, cold and bare.

The dreams have been fulfilled or died long ago.

I try to imagine where it all went, how it got away,

A tear rolls down a weathered cheek. I close my eyes once more.

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A Child no More

Suddenly, I must look at this person I gave birth to, love,  nurtured in a completely different perspective.

One day, my child is playing in the sand, rolling cars or dressing baby dolls. Without realizing how time has rushed by, I realize I am now looking at a person that I may have given birth to, but has become a unique person of their own making

You, wrapped in a soft blanket,
tiny, tight fist, ready to fight this evil world.
I hold you to my waiting breast
as you unfurl your fist and
hungrily taste life for the first time.

My whispered words to you
as I gazed onto your face
for the very first time-
Hello, little lady, or
There’s my young man.

Now, racing through my mind
come priceless memories,
first smile, first words, first step.
So many new pages
fill your book each day,

Always hoping the story never ends.
I see you growing,
Instars in a journey
that will take you to places
I have never been.

You dance and change
so quickly I can’t keep up,
More amazing with every step.
I see you as a chrysalis,
wanting to soar.

I close my eyes tightly,
Life’s pages ripple by.
I’m afraid to let you go,
Will you stay near,
Will you be here at all?

I watch silently, in awe
with aging, tight fist
as each of you ascends
into your own unique
and always perfect butterfly.

A tear rolls down my cheek,
soft blanket in my arms.
I can no longer hold you,
in those arms, but always
in my heart, my soul, my dreams.

Whether you fly
off into the heavens
or stay near  me
on this earth,
You are, and always will be

The best of me that I could give.

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A Different Kind of Autumn

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Years ago, I held little hands,
enveloped with sounds of giggles and joy.
I laughed as they threw golden piles of leaves around.
Life seemed so gentle, hopeful, joyous.
Today, Autumns leaves seem to go from green to brown,
New children rush about in a whirlwind,
To busy for leaf piles, laughing, memories that endure time.
I look at myself as rain patters outside the windows.
Where did that time go? My health, my child?
As a tear rolls down my cheek, I vow,
to make a leaf pile, film the excitement of little ones.
To slow the world down, breath in the cool air.
Time will not wait, nor will life, not even hope.
We must find a way to grab hold of today,
And never, ever, let its lessons escape us.

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A Week and a Half ’til School Starts

Three of us-one old, two young

jump in the car driving

to where ever we land.

First a historical site

from the civil war era,

we sneak into a field

that says “no trespassing”.

Go up a back road,

taking photos of old houses and barns.

Skip the Blue Ridge Parkway for

Hwy 694-Buzzard Rock,

a  graffiti filled outcropping

that was gorgeous in my day.

Looking over the valley far below

our home, our lives, our graves.

Tired and thirsty, hurry home.

Time seems so precious

with autumn approaching.

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