Posts tagged sleep

To Be Someone’s Everything

Since I was only 19 years old, sitting in a frayed chair,

I have loved looking down upon a sweet head,01090049

of soft,curly hair, stroking it, as it mixed with my own.

That was the incomparable joy of motherhood.

A sleepy head upon my shoulder, or laying beside me,

a soft, even breath when sleep finally came and I could rest.

I would lovingly touch their sleepers of pink or blue,

as I laid them beside me, watching them as they dreamed.

“It’s hard to be someone’s everything.” I told my friend.

A young mom too, she laughed and said, “But so sweet!”

In those difficult times, I though,how true it was,

To be wrapped in the joy of life’s greatest pleasure-motherhood.

Now, I am not young, and have spent nearly 40 years,

with a soft head of hair in many colors, and textures

laying beside me, or on my shoulder, they all loved being loved.

For me to rub their backs or heads as their eyes closed for the night.

We have been through so much, over the years-

the unimaginable joy of new life and the unspeakable sorrow

of the loss of a child, and still, running my hand through

each child’s hair has remained an unforgotten blessing.

Today, I walked into my teens room, music playing quietly,

and saw him lying there with her head on his shoulder,

His girl, not me, and I found it hard to hold back the tears

as I walked away knowing those days would soon end.

Yes, I would rub the heads of my many grandchildren,

such beautiful, soft hair, I touched and remembered.

But it wasn’t the same. I would lay them in their bed,

or take them to their home. Leaving me here, alone.

If only I could be young again, tired again, I thought.

Running my hand through silky hair, and knowing,

that this tiny act of love between us was so precious,

would one day be only a sweet memory, but not,

I hoped, today…..

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Sleepless Night

Its 2a.m. darkness and
Cobwebs fill my head.
What am i going to do?
I have nothing left here,
No hope, no dreams to hold,
Only pain and fear-like vampires
They feed and leave me empty.

Where did i go wrong?
Did i love too much-
Care too much?
Did i put to much
Of my damaged soul
Out there to be shattered?

All the things i used to
Cling to, have been taken.
What matters to me so much
Is a joke now to others.

Why am i here? Darkness,silence
Why don’t the ones
Who cause the pain hurt like i do?
I needed that sleep-
The alarm doesn’t care.

Another day in hell-black candles
Flickering, yet,Lost,waiting for the
Love i gave my life for over and over.
Just let me go,blow the candle out
Or make them feel the pain like i do.

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Sleep Tight

 

She gently stroked my hair as she whispered to me, “ Once, when I was a little girl, a butterfly landed on my nose.” She smile, heard a quiet giggle, then a deep breath.

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Lullaby

I shuffle and squirm in bed, worn out from another difficult day. I’ve tried everything, reading, watching TV listening to soft music, nothing works.

Suddenly, I her the wind pick up and blow against my screen. A spatter of rain taps quietly n my roof. Lightening and thunder rumble far away. For a moment, the rain falls in torrents, then settles into a peaceful song. Nature’s lullaby.

Before I know it, my reddened eyes start to blink. My mind goes blank, my heart slows to a quiet rhythm. The soft breathing of my cat blends with the gentleness of a warm summer rain.

Soon, I am asleep. The rain has does its trick. Nature has helped me get a much-needed rest. I wake up, a bit surprised that it is morning. Somehow, that is alright, I feel refreshed.

Thank you rain for your blessing.

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Sleep- Word a Week prompt

Often sleep is my only relief. I relish the moments when I dream of my child-alive, myself-young, my world-hopeful. Although I find it discouraging to look at sleep as the best part of my day, it sometimes is. No pain, no real bad news, I don’t have to be afraid, things are the way I wish they had been, should have been, I wake with a smile.

Sleep, even in happy times, refreshes me, gives me energy and determination. In difficult times, it gives me a moment of relief, a moment where pain is not a constant, a moment with a friend or loved one who has been taken.

We sleep about 1/3 of our life. It gives us the energy and courage to live the other 2/3. Being able to relax enough to go to sleep is a blessing in its self. And no, my friends, goodnight.

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A Storm in the Nighttime

A rattling awakens me,
from the depths of a sleep badly needed.
I ease back into a restless slumber,
Comforted by the patter of rain outside.

He loved storms too, I smile and remember,
Even as a tiny child, we’d watch them,
Cuddled on the porch as lightning
And thunder surrounded us.

Somehow now, as I lie here alone,
The echoes of distant thunder
Comfort me, embrace me.
I feel him here, somewhere, somehow.

A flash of lightning filters into my room,
Filling my mind with better times.
In that brief moment, I hear him calling,
Come, hurry, watch the storm with me.

7-25-12

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