Posts tagged teenagers

The Last, Sweet Taste of “Mine”

DSCN2143My youngest son, I have endured so much,

loosing your brother, my parents, my health…

And all of that time, you have been here,

to give me the will to live, against all odds.

Now you are driving, dating,  and someone else

is the love of your life.  It hurts, but it is “life”.

The moments you come in and lay beside me,

let me rub your back or hair, whisper to me,

“I love you, mama.” and mean it, are so precious.

You envite me to go out with you and your friends,

You laugh with me, talk with me, tell me secrets.

I find myself wiping tears every day at loosing you-

as MY BABY, “MINE”. me-being number one in your life.

I’ve known in my heart that it would happen,

but not so soon, not so fast. My heart is broken,

yet I have to  try and savor those days we had-

Those last sweet tastes of “Mine”, that I cherish.

I can only hope you will always find room

in your life for me-stay close, share those hugs.

I have your siblings and they love me,

but you are my baby and have breathed

life into a mom who was dying of grief.

Those Last Sweet Taste of “Mine” will never leave me.

Enjoy every second of any child you may have,

because while growing goes slowly for them,

it races by for you.  You will always love them

in a way that is different from how they love you.

You would give them your life without thought,

Your last crumb of food or drink of water.

I love you my son, all of my children, with all I have.

My teen in heaven, you will always live in my heart.

My teen that is still here with me, messes and all-

To see you walk in the door, lay down your coat down

and crawl up to me with a hug and “How are you?”

Is still, will always be life its self to me, my child.

I dream of you, perhaps sometime, you might let me

sneak quietly into your dreams or even reality

and plant a flower or walk around the lake.with me.

We can never have too much love, and I will never

forget the love you gave that kept me alive.

My youngest son, I have endured so much,

loosing your brother, my parents, my health…

And all of that time, you have been here,

to give me the will to live, against all odds.

Now you are driving, dating,  and someone else

is the love of your life.  It hurts, but it is “life”.

The moments you come in and lay beside me,

let me rub your back or hair, whisper to me,

“I love you, mama.” and mean it, are so precious.

You envite me to go out with you and your friends,

You laugh with me, talk with me, tell me secrets.

I find myself wiping tears every day at loosing you-

as MY BABY, “MINE”. me-being number one in your life.

I’ve known in my heart that it would happen,

but not so soon, not so fast. My heart is broken,

yet I have to  try and savor those days we had-

Those last sweet tastes of “Mine”, that I cherish.

I can only hope you will always find room

in your life for me-stay close, share those hugs.

I have your siblings and they love me,

but you are my baby and have breathed

life into a mom who was dying of grief.

Those Last Sweet Taste of “Mine” will never leave me.

Enjoy every second of any child you may have,

because while growing goes slowly for them,

it races by for you.  You will always love them

in a way that is different from how they love you.

You would give them your life without though,

Your last crumb of food or drink of water.

I love you my son, all of my children, with all I have.

My teen in heaven, you will always live in my heart.

My teen that is still here with me, messes and all-

To see you walk in the door, lay down your coat down

and crawl up to me with a hug and “How are you?”

Is still, will always be life its self to me, my child.

I dream of you, perhaps sometime, you might let me

sneak quietly into your dreams or even reality

and plant a flower or walk around the lake with me.

We can never have too much love, and I will never

forget the love you gave that kept me alive.

My youngest son,I have endured so much,

loosing your brother, my parents, my health…

And all of that time, you have been here,

to give me the will to live, against all odds.

Now you are driving, dating, someone else

is the love of your life.  It hurts, but it is “life”.

The moments you come in and lay beside me,

let me ruvb your back or hair, whisper to me,

“I love you, mama.” and mean it, are so precious.

You envite me to go out with you and your friends,

you laugh with me, talk with me, tell me secrets.

I find myself wiping tears every day at loosing you-

as MY BABY, MINE. me being number one in your life.

I’ve known in my heart that it would happen,

but not so soon,not so fast. My heart is broken,

yet I have to  try and savor those days we had-

Those last sweet tastes of “Mine”, that I had.

I can only hope you will always find room

in your life for me-stay close,share those hugs.

I have your siblings and they love me,

but you are my babby and have breathed

life into a mom who was dying of grief.

Those Last Sweet Taste of “Mine” will never leave me.

Enjoy every second of any child you may have,

because while growing goes slowly for them,

it races by for you.  You will always love them

in a way that is different from how they love you.

You would give them your life without though,

‘Your last crumb of food or drink of water.

I love you my son, all of my children with all I have.

My teen in heaven, you will always live in my heart.

To see you walk in the door, lay down your coat don

and crawl up to me with a hug and “How are you?”

Is still, will always be life itsself to me, my child

I dream of you, perhaps sometime, you might let me

sneak quietly into your dreams or even reality

and plant a flower or walk around the lake with me.

We can never have too much love, and I will never

forget the love you gave that kept me alive.

Comments (9) »

Storm of the Century

We had watched the weather channel for days, awaiting the storm that was predicted to hit on New Years Eve. I started home from the store, with the wind picking up. I knew the storm was on the way. I hurried up the steep mountain road, hoping to beat the beginning of the snow. The kids were both home, I felt tears on my cheek.

The television was still on the Weather Channel, predicting “The Storm of the Century.” The kids, 14, and 17, were excited, as they looked out side. I was not so exuberant. We we were alone and I didn’t have a four-wheel drive. I would be stuck up here for days. I knew the electricity would likely go out and we had only a fireplace and a portable radio for comfort.

 I went down into the basement to get some wood to start a fire. Gathering the wood, I raced back up thee stairs, wanting to get the fire started before the winds got too fierce and we lost power.

 “Mom,” My daughter yelled, it’s snowing like crazy!” The excitement in her voice echoed down the hall.

 Sure enough, the air as filled with huge flakes of snow, already sticking to the ground. I rushed to get newspapers for kindling, and ran to the kitchen for matches. My son lit a candle in each of the main rooms, so that we would not be left in darkness. I was proud of how prepared we were.

 Suddenly, I thought of our elderly neighbor, Mr. Carter, who lived down the hill around a steep curve. He didn’t have a generator and was not able to contend with making a fire or cooking. We had to go get him!

 I yelled at the kids that we had to go find Mr. Carter. It was already dark outside by the time we got ready to go. We loaded up a wagon, in case he couldn’t walk up the hill and started down the road, streetlights still glowing in the snow and stiff wind.

 The wind took on a loud roar as we shivered in the blowing snow. I thought I heard a faint voice in the wind. “Oh, no!” I thought. “Mr. Carter had started up to our house own his own.’

 “Mr. Carter!” I called back. “Don’t go anywhere, we are on our way!”

 I heard a weak voice near where his long driveway started. “I’ve fallen.” he cried out. I think I hurt my leg!”

 Suddenly, the lights went out. We could see nothing in the swirling snow. I shouted out, hoping to hear his voice against the power of the wind. “Mr. Carter!” I cried out. “Can you hear me?”

 Nothing. The forest was silent between whirls of snow and crackling limbs. “Mr. Cater, can you hear me?” I shouted again. The snow fell on as we wandered in the dark, now on a desperate search.

Comments (4) »

Interview with the Modern-day Teen

04290005This interview is with my teen son, a computer geek and my best friend!

What is your favorite subject in school and why?

Son- “Probably Civics, because it is interesting to learn how our country was formed and the changes it has gone through in only 200 years.

What is your favorite video game and why?

Son- “Minecraft- because it is to easy to customize. It is never-ending, you can customize, design, even create animations for it. There is always something new you can add. It doesn’t have “levels’ and such like old video games had.”

Who is the person you admire most in business? Why?

Son: “Steve Jobs, because no matter how many struggles he went through, he always kept going, never let himself feel defeated, even in death.”

Who is your favorite music group?

Son: “That’s very hard-I’d say it is a music distributor called Proximity. They distribute smaller artist and helped them gain popularity.”

What are your ambitions for the next five years?

Son: “I’d like to learn to code all kinds of computer programs and create animations using all kinds of programs.”

How do you plan to use these things to make a career for yourself?

Son: “I plan on going to go to college for Computer Engineering and I hope to create animations for a side job.”

Do you get along well with your siblings?

Son: “ Yes, we connect, have fun, socialize. I am the youngest, so I learn a lot from them.”

Do you get along well with your peers? Older people/ Little kids?

Son: “Peers-yes, we don’t disrespect each other, we find ways to socialize and help each other.”

“ Older people-yes, because the have experience and are a great source of knowledge. I love to hear their life stories.”

“Little kids-most of the time, I can find ways to mess with them, play with them. I have little nephews and nieces I have had to learn to entertain them and laugh at the way they see things and express themselves.”

What do do think our societies main issues should be right now?

Son: “Figuring out a way for Republicans and Democrats to agree on something and stop acting like preschoolers.”

Thanks for being my volunteer!

Comments (5) »

Home at Last

Home at Last

We all love that first glimpse of home at the end of the day1

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Gifts from Young Souls

     I am constantly amazed at how the abilities of young people can touch the lives of others.  Their maturity and insight are quite often dismissed or ignored by their elders. . There is a freshness, a feeling of hope in them that is simply contagious. I am overwhelmed with the kindness and selfless patience shown to me daily by busy kids who could find many other things to do.

     Without drowning in the agony that put me where I am today, I wanted to find a way to thank two young teens for helping me take the first step towards healing. When it seemed I had reached rock bottom in my efforts to see what I still have,  they took me to beautiful places, let me enter their world, shared their time and thoughts with me, and made me feel valued and needed. I caught myself smiling, even laughing, entwined for a moment in a world beyond my own. 

     The rushing waters surrounded us as we played on river rocks and took silly pictures. They rode with me to a tiny town beside a river, walked with me through a history festival, listened, laughed, made me part of their day. We breathed in the fragrance of goats milk soaps and beeswax candles in whispered delight. We listened to tales of our heritage, we drank warm soft drinks and put raffle tickets in a shoe box. They never complained of being tired or bored. When I tried to apologize for being less than pleasant company, they assured me that they didn’t see me that way at all.

     They told me that my honesty, my being interested in their lives and thoughts actually made them feel close to me. They said that I appreciated their  knowledge, rejoiced in their successes,that I let them speak their minds without criticism or lectures. I spent time with them.

     I thought of all the days, months, years,that  I had needed to be that person again. As we passed a line of treasured cars that came off the line around the year I was born, I heard them talking about how beautiful they were, how well they’d been cared for. I saw my reflection in the glass of one of these cars, and realized  that I was still valued too. I was beautiful too.  I mattered to someone, too. I felt a lightness in my step, the wind in my hair, I felt alive. 

     As we rode home, I told them how much they meant to me, how they brought me joy.  Even as I felt a tear trace my cheek, I smiled at them through the rear view mirror. They brought the groceries in before I had time to ask. An elderly neighbor called, needing help changing a light bulb, and they were rushing off to assist her before I could even hang up the phone. A while later, they raced back out with me when we were surprised by a call that I had actually won the raffle!

     For the first time in years, I felt like I might be able to face tomorrow without anger or sorrow or grief overwhelming even a moment that should bring joy.  I though of how many times they had helped me watch my grand kids when I was tired or in pain. I remembered them sharing with me a poem they had read or a news story that touched their hearts. My neighbor told me that when she offered to pay them for changing the light bulb, she was, instead, paid with a hug and an offer to “help her anytime she needed it”.

      I often hear people say that the youth of today are spoiled and selfish, that they are disrespectful or rude, ungrateful for their easy lives and expensive electronics. I ask them not to judge the many fine young people by the actions of a few. These teens  often embody the best of what we strive to attain as adults. Through their young faces, I see compassion, a sense of caring for the people around them and the planet they live on. I am confident that they will make the world a better place. After all, it is a world that will belong to them, not to those of us who came before them.

     Open your eyes to the beauty of these young people who persist in believing in themselves. They are fighting for a world with less prejudice and more kindness, even in the face of  seemingly insurmountable odds.  Partake of their gifts and tell them they are valued. Encourage them, believe in them, listen to them.  You might surprise yourself and learn something yourself in the process.

      Gifts (Haiku)

gifts from two young teens

you have  what I need to heal

smiles time joy love hope

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