As I start to press the “publish” button on a story about the loss of my son from a sudden heart issue, and the organizations that I have found that help prevent these tragic, unnecessary deaths. I think of my losses caused by having to live without him, I find my hand shaking, my heart throbbing and wonder if I have the courage to push the button. I know I will have to respond to replies, open the wounds and subject myself to religious opinions that make me ill. Finally, I will hit the button, realizing that If I save one mom from the hell I have ended, it will be worth it. Opening my wounds id definitely the type of blog that both frees me , forces me to be truthful and hopefully helps others avoid the tragedy of loosing a child.
Posts tagged truth
Morning Scare
I am shaking, tears stain my cheeks, my heart throbbing. Running to his room, I think, “Oh, it was just a dream,” then, realize it wasn’t. What scares me most is the truth.
Still Together
Every night, I lay my head, upon your pillow, on your bed.
And I a crying, feel like dying…
If I could die, I wish I knew, if I cold really be with you?
You know I’m trying to keep from lying….
I want to know, in the morning, would I be here, you still there?
I if did not wake up in the morning, would I care? I just don’t care.
Without you…
Every time this house is filled with the people you left here,
I feel I’m trying,to keep from dying.
I pretend to care or really feel that it matters that I’m here,
I’m through with crying, I feel like dying.
Where’s my heart, my wicked soul within this world I can’t control?
My soul is dead, my heart is too, they both died when I lost you.
There is a place that I still go, no one but you will ever know.
You are there and I am too, no one else, just me and you.
If we’re both dead and they are right and we are in some other life,
I don’t care, fire or ice, just so we’re here, you and I.
I close my eyes one more time, it’s over, life, it’s over, time.
I run to you, you run to me, just like that last night, it would be.
We’d go around, we’d dance and sing, spirits of a bitter spring,
Together, we will always be, death cannot take you from me.
You are with me, a child, a man, I look at you, you take my hand.
This world is sad, though skies are blue, I only need to be with you.
